After 35 years, I'm going back to hospital again!

Wow! it's been Sooooooooo long since i last blog. In fact i've forgotten my log in info.. so that's why. And partyly, this year too many "program" till i either too happy that i forgotten to blog, too sad that i've forgotten to write, too excited that i've not able to sit down and write, to sick that i've got no energy to write. talk about sick, my gastric have been giving me problem since that fateful day 21st march 2010. Walau, no word can describe how i suffer becos of it. Went in & out of the A&E, specialist appointment, endoscope, ultra sound scan, blood test & test & test. Found bacteria and pills pills pills.... finally the bacteria cleared, scan shows diamond inside the gallbladder and BINGO! the real culprit for the cause of my misery... so doc arrange for me to see the senior consultant last week and he arranged for me to go for my surgery tmrw..27/7/10. In fact he wants me to be there on 23/7, but halo.. i don't wanna spend my birthday in the ward. In fact i don't wanna spend a single minute in the ward too...I'm scare...
 
Anyway, partly because of this surgery, i've actually very low profile this year for my birthday. No mood and i can't eat as i like so only had dinner at my sister's place with all my sisters and nephew. Ok, not too bad, as for my friends, all said will wait till i've done my ops, then decide what to have.
 
Btw, my 3 bosses were not too bad.. i mean the new boss. old bosses was always nice to me, he insist to visit me but i say no cos he will also be admitted into the hospital on 28/7 for his bypass. I'll be praying for him too. hope he will be fine. Why i said the new bosses was ok. For GOH YK, some ladies here was telling me he very stern and don't talk, never even say hi to people. but he did to me lor. And when i offer him coffee or some homemade herbal tea, he also accept "happily". haha.. and as daring as i always been, he was the first one to say hi! Then he ask me to take care before he leave the office today...  so shy... That PT is like a old uncle, in fact he is lah. I was always asking him/begging him for work, and his usual reply " Relax, you take a rest, don't worry , go go go, go & rest".. hahaha...i'm a resting PA! Then YSC also not bad, so far when i beg him for work, he will try and give me something. He said he wanna teach me how to do tender, so when he retired at least he can hand something to me. NO WAY! I hate numbers and i know he really stressed. but again.. u think he really wanna retired? every year also same pattern. He too, ask me to take care and let him know if i need anything. sweet hor... apart from the inconvenience of coming to work and the MAMASAN here, all ok.. of course if i can slightly more work, a little i'll be most happy. Oh ya, not forgetting that botak charles. He too.. walau, quote what soong say " he likes you, so before u go hospital, must tell him, he will wnat to visit you" XIAO ah.. mamasan will kill me if i take her boss! hahaha.. i don't like botak wow... how??? hahaha
 
Hope all will be fine for me tmrw.. including the resort, be it a peaceful night... GOD BLESSED.

What a November

Went thru ups an downs the whole week (though the week had not ended yet). Lots of memories just came up and can't stop crying.. When was the last time I behaved like a cry baby? Quite awhile I guess. Those who know me will know what and why I was triggered to behave this way.

Anyway, I thought after the funeral of yesterday, it's a closure and we should get back to our normal pace. Yet this morning when I call my best friend, Jen(whatever I'm unhappy about her is another issue, don't deny the fact she's one of my best friend) to find out about her dad chemo session, and after a short conversation feel something is bothering her, cos she don't sound her usual tone. She said " I wanted to end my life, I wanted to die erica! *BOMB* Scary isn't it? Your best friend just told you right on your face, she wanted to COMMIT SUICIDE! Someone who have everything, just came back from a shopping spree at BBK told you she wanna die? WHY??? She told me she have this thought lately, it's frightening her so she went to the doctor and confirmed she suffering from depression. What causes that, she felt she is taking in too much of everything, she couldn't let go of her mum's death, she stressed over her dad condition, her son, her hubby and everything! I told her, she have too much time till she have all these silly thought. She lost interest in everything ( weird cos she DID NOT shop at all in BBK) It's a sign… She needs someone to talk to, but she dare not call me cos she don't wanna trigger all my sad memories which I had put down. I once suffered from depression too.. but I managed to get over it, with medication and will power I guess. I told her, it's heart breaking to see loved ones died, I do not want people who love me to be sad, that's why I cannot die! Life is fragil and to me it's not that interesting at all, but God gives us lives, when it's time to take back from us, HE will do so.

At times we just have to let go… there are too many unhappiness in this world, but what can we do? That's part of life.. Dying might have end our misery, but it will contirbute problems and sadness to those who love us.. so why be selfish? Tomorrow will be better, if I can walk out of it, I'm sure she will be able to do so. . What a Novemeber……….

p.s Money won't stop you from dying… Friends who care do…

Life is so Fragil

Over the weekend was a full of shocks and sadness. My nephew's friend Xiaohuan passed away suddenly on a saturday afternoon, leaving behind and 1yrs old little girl. It's too of a shock for all of us. She was alright, no sypthom at all, she was fine month ago when she came over to my place, I haven't even got the chance to develope the picture taken on that day and i still clearly remembered what she told me on that day, how much she is looking forward to move to her new house. 2 weeks ago, when she went over to my sister's place, my sister even told her by chinese new year, the chilli she loves will bear tonnes of fruit, by then she will be able to indulge herself. few days ago on FB she even comment and agree on things i said, she even send me gift for my cafe world. Yet now she's gone...
Went to the wake, it's really heartbreaking, seeing how cute the little girl, how intelligent she is, singing for all of us, and when asked who taught her.. reply was " Ma ma"... and all of us, man & woman burst out crying... she is so cute.. cos she grow up in lots of love from her mummy.. she might be a young mama, she's only 24 but she is really a good mummy. She gave her all the best, she taught her everything she knows. Now that she's gone, i'm sure it's hard for her to leave, she must be in pain, pain to leave behind a loving husband and cute little one. It's sad when the little one stares at her pic and said " pray pray" " mama" when bedtime for her she starts searching high and low for the mama.. this is too much for all of us... What we can really do now is to promise her we will let little jerlin have all our love and care, we will make sure she grow up to be a fine lady and even though she lost her mummy, she will have all of us as her mummy.
 
Xiao Huan, Rest in Peace, you will be missed and we will take care of your little girl and support Keith. Just follow the light and let Buddha lead you the way.. we will be there for your little girl... Ah yi promised.

Do you think I should get this T-shirt?

Not that i like this T-shirt so much, but if you have a colleague sitting next to you with habit of talking to himself and if you wanna be a nice angel, guess this is the best to show him what is in your mind and ask him to shut his bloody mouth! 
 
I just don't understand why is it that he is soooooo busy... he just can't keep his mouth shut! He will either keep on talking to himself NON-STOP or he will start his humming.. He is no other than that Kanjiong Spider! I got so irritated whenever i know he will be on day shift. There's nothing i can do. I pull a long face at him whole day, I don't talk him cos i don't want him to have the impression that he has a listener and it's OK that he keeps on talking. Anyway, the fact that he does not have any audience/listener, he is still blabbering non stop! What the F***! I just can't be patient to him, really lor.. The sight of him really irritates me and his voice too! I dunno how long can i tahan, but as a colleague, i really don't wanna be that nasty, but if i have to, then that's his luck!

Happy Birthday to Me!

I'm 34 this year! How time flies! But lots of my friends, be it those 20s, 30s or even 40s were all telling me ~~~ Age is JUST Numbers....You're right man!

This week again, a busy week for me.

21/7 Met up with Angela & Nad for dinner , had my 1st cake~ Blackforest. It's great to just sit down with them and chit chat, they are both gone & going to leave the coy, but i wished we will still keep in touch, esp with Adik...
22/7- Met Jen today for lunch, had my 2nd cake~ Tiramisu. Was jokingly telling her i'm going to have 7-10slices of cake this week and probably next, so i'll gather a whole cake with 10 flavors. Sorry batu, your appointment wasn't key into my data base, so i'm sorry i've to disappoint you, but it's sweet of you since you are the 1st one wishing me "Happy Birthday" on 20/7... Xiao!
23/7 - Breakfast with my buddy, Lunch with Khoofy @ Wakraku. Last time we met was my last birthday.. 1 year ago! Dinner with Mark, Henry and Navy. Thai food! Yummy.. so excited!
24/7 - Going to the temple for Monk blessing, and then relax myself, don't ask me what i'm going to do, i've no program at all. Dinner with Hubby & family.
25/7- Meet up Teresa for Lunch
29/7 - Meet DoDo for dinner, venue not decided yet.
31/7 - Lunch with my Lup & Adik, it's more for a farewell for adik. Lup & wished me this morning, another "early" guy. Meet Jolyn, Lily & Sharon for dinner very excited to meet them, it's been so long since we last meet up, esp Lily & Jolyn.
Will try & give Mr batu a slot, if he really wanted so much to buy me lunch.

It's a blessing to have friends... especially friends who were always by my side, ups and downs, they are always there for me. Thank you to all my friends, and~~~ I LOVE YOU ALL!... mushy mushy right! hahaha

That Stupid FLU came back

The Flu Virus really make my life so miserable.. First was mid May, i'm down with the fever and flu, went to see 2 doctors, cos the first doctor i've seen was DUMB! after one week, then i start to recover. Then it came back last sunday. Walau, it's so frustrating lor. after i was hit by the flu wave, i really dare not go out unnecessarily, i quarantine myself at home, i try to eat as simple as possible, as light as i can. But still it comes back again. So i had to see the doctor again. Again maybe it's becos i'm too eager to "recover", so it's trying to play a trick on me, the medication made me so weak and restless ( stoned for the whole day) But if i don't take it, I'll cough like mad. Then at some advise of my dear colleagues, I took a day off and decided to start my chinese medication. First was the :bitter powder for flu, supposed to drink it hot and went to bed with thick clothing, to perspire as much as i can to get rid of the "cold wind" in my body. Then Uncle Goh gave me some green leave, guaranteed that it's not bitter at all, just simmer in hot water and drink, good for cough and throat problem. OK, not too bad, after drinking my cough does gets better. Before bedtime, my Doctor Goh at home make the bitter tea for me, SUCKS! But what to do, i went to bed and woke up all wet! It really gets better, then he serve me the "green leave" but he being a smart aleck, he went to "crush" the leave and it turns out damn bloody BITTER! This is a torture.
 
The next day, i took leave, and Doc Goh made me some water for stopping my cough ( different version) But it doesn't seems to help at all. Then an aunty of his said, boiling ginger is good for me, to get rid of the flu, so again... we made the ginger water... Hmmm.. if you ask me if it helps after SO MANY Different "water" i would say... NOT REALLY.... perhaps 50%. Then at night, i took my medication from the doctor again, cos i need to sleep, i need to stop the running nose and cough, so i have no choice, but surprisingly, I COULDN"T sleep well at all! It's supposed to make me drowsy, but my sleep wasn't as good as i thought. So turns out, when i reach the office, so many guys said, I LOOK PALE! !#$%^&
 
But i would say, during this period of time, many people gave me many advices, herbs and etc.. I would say It's really sweet of them. Thanks to all my dear colleague that after knowing that they care, i felt so much better.

Cheap CID Officer

I was praying hard that man whom we did the repair work of his house will come forward and settle the payment. It's been more than 2 weeks and we have no news from that person - that so call "friend" from the temple. And finally last week he called, asking to meet at the temple, fine, it's hard earned money, of course we will go down. Yet, he didn't turn up, reason= wife drove his car!  He say he will transfer the money, ok better than nothing, i gave my a/c no.  
 
Then the next day, he called, he say he had transferred -  Part of it, the rest he will settle with Ray the next round (when? dunno? maybe wait till his 2 daughter marries off, mind you they are 10yrs old) After reading guess you will start wondering how BIG can the amount be? Read with you eye wide opened - S$500-00. Yes, it's 500 bucks, not 50,000-00! And this is not just anybody, he is someone who drove a big car (lexus) who stays in a executive apartment upgrading to Condo soon! This is shame of HIM. I thought he is different, so when he needs help, we were ready to do so, yet! Maybe to some of you out there, S$500 is just a small amount, but no matter if it's 50 or 500, it's a matter of principles. Work Completed,you are satisfied,you got your house sold, so Pay up!
 
This is so disappointing! I started to wonder if we are BLIND! Why get disappointed by our so-call friends again and again... Hello, I don't care what impression all of you have on Contractors, maybe for others, they earn big bucks, but not for my Mr Goh at home. He takes all of them as friends, to the extent that all of them meant so much to him, but why is it that those people are so ungrateful, making use of him again and again! Hurting him Again and Again! He don't deserve to be treated this way. If you are not sincere, stay away from us, we are happier that way.    
 
I wished I could be more forgiving, but look at all those people out there, they are incorrigible! They are a bunch of rubbish! Poor CID officer! Can't even afford to come up with S$500/-, guess got to wait till he got his proceed from selling the house then we will get paid. Cheap!