"I LOVE U"

Oh Gosh... sprain my neck... sh*t... guess need to take MC tmrw... very painful, can't turn at all.. so stiff... wanna see doc, clinic closed... Sh*T...tmrw morning will see one.. it's so painful.. don't ask why, dunno y like tat oso.. play with my nephews & kena...

it all started cos bad mood, so meet them hope to cheer myself up.. yet.. sigh.. y bad mood, someone say "i love u" to me, should be flying high up the sky rite... thought it's all a joke or movie lines, yet the GF "confronted" me.. i mean really "confrontation" or i should say it reprimand??? aiya dunno lah.. I noe she was mad when she overheard him saying that"lines" to me, but i tot it's a joke, cos he always xiao xiao one.. i reply jokingly too.. saying ya boy.. it's "sister" love. yet tat man, ask me to "look into his eyes" "Wo Ai Ni".. xiao ah.. i'm married leh... Sooooo the next day, GF kept her cool, came to me & say " even if he loves you, what can the 2 of u do.. u are married.. " hahaha.. funny rite.. i noe i'm married, and i know he is just joking so wat the fuss???? it's juz a JOKE! but to her, it's a big & serious crime. I should have told her i have 1 love in the office, 1 die hard admirer and bunch of "sweetheart", if i were to take everyone seriously.. where got time! told her off.. "y no confident in him, i'm not the type he likes, i'm the friend's wife, i'm not tall, not pretty, not slim.. i'm just the opposite of her, so why worry... In fact, I wasted all my breathe explaining, she still insist that the BF got something in me, she said she confronted and asked him if he meant what he say, she can see the "guilt" in his eyes... aiyoyoyo.. what the #&%$... When i ask her what she want me to do, i'm not the one saying to him and i won't give up a friend becos of him. I have confident in myself and i hope she too have on him! It's hard to explain to her what's between the 2 of us.. we are "CLEAN".. that's all i can say..
SH*T.. adik ask me 2 days ago, do we have feeling toward one another.. i still haven't answer her.. I... little lah.. cos he is really nice to me.. adik, u know the story rite.. how can i have no feeling towards such a nice guy.. as for him, i dunno.. if based on the GF.. maybe.....................

Someone out there

Suddenly tis man came back to my life.. P! First thing striked my mind was " Wow.. It's been 9 years since i last saw him"How can that be... Well.. why not? I'm 30 this year... All because of Jen, suddenly i wonder why must she tell me that she saw him.. at times, it's better not to know, not to see. I know i still got feeling towards him, that's the most scary part.. of course, i know my status now too.. I'm Married... Anyway, i knew it's impossible, last time, now and future.. it's not gonna be possible for us to be together.. forever.. In fact, the ending was not what i had expected, I thought he must be back to his family 9 years ago, make up to the wife and children, forget about me and live happily ever. I don't and never wanted him to remember me. As far as i am concern, I just want him to be happy, wherever he go, whatever he do, whoever he was with. It Hurts when i found out that for the last 9 years, there is no one to care for him, listen to him and share with him. How is it possible to let go everything he has and leave behind the family, how is it that he refused to let go before i left him, why must he do it after i have made up my mind to go. He could have come back to me 9 years ago. How can he be so cruel, not to call me and talk to me. Perhap, he too.. don;t know what he wants. He knew all along what i have went through, losing my loved ones, he can even tell Jen how shattered i was when i lost my precious nephew. He saw it, he was there but i was blinded by tears.. I didn't get to see him at all. Think back, if i were to see him, i'm sure the one got hurt will be my husband, I know i will run to him, without second thought. Anyway, He told jen he just wanted to know that i'm fine and nothing else, Jen told him it won't be convenient to give him my no, and he says he is afraid to call me, because he don't want to hurt me again. Me too, I don;t want to get hurt and hurt others too.

Never Judge a Book by it's cover

Tis GF of mine called and telling me she broke off with the BF. Reason being she felt that she just need to talk it out with him. She is 28, she thought of settle down, ROM, married and have Kids! Yes, having a baby is what she wished for since young. To have a bb with the man we love was a wonderful thing. They have been together for 3 years. last year when she brought up the issue, he told her give him sometime, he would want his career to come 1st, but no bb please, NEVER to have a one, not even one. She was sad and disappointed, but still try all ways to persuade him and finally agreed to have one. She is looking forward for this day to come. Finally 2005, she thought she would be able to settle down, at least go for ROM. But since beginning of the year when the guy return back to the old company, took the offer, he has been very busy, so busy that they don't even get to see one another once a week. Even if they do, it's always RUSH RUSH RUSH... he will always say he is busy, he don;t even bother to send sweet sms at all, it's always " ok" "see u", "call u back" "K".or else he will call her 11pm/12am after he knock off. But conversation was usually short. Until the fateful day when she brought up the idea of going ROM, he rejected her. He told the girl that he know she love kids, but he don't want AT ALL. Not even one. He wants to make it clear to her that in the event if she really got pregnant, he will get her to abort it! It's so unbelievable, how can he be so cruel and cold! I can imagine how shattered she was. from that day onwards, she didn't contact him, she really has given up on him, she has no choice, she couldn't believe that the man whom she had love for 3 years can be so cruel....

Guasa

Arrr... I started my guasa session.. wonder how long will it take to see the result... well guess it all depends on how "hardworking" i am.. all girls wanna be slim n pretty.. Alright if i'm juz greedy, ok.. but the fats around me was the "hormone pills" spell..... now that i have stop taking the pills i hope with the help of the guasa technique and the cutting down of rice.. i hope to be able to put on all my old clothes and of course get some new ones too.. so scary.. really put on so much, thou Hubby didn't complain cos he knows the reason why, but with people around me asking the same question, passing the same remarks.. it made me sad! tat piece of tahu call me " ah Pui" hey.. i'm a girl... but i take it pretty easy, i'm not tat offended, take it as a joke. I hope i can show some result to adik, cos she is getting the guasa board for her friend, provided i prove it. I hope......

WHY??????

Oh.... I wanna die..... How can that happen to us.. we have not really being happy for the last 2 years, but still trying to pull ourselves together, keep on reminding ourselves that it's not the end of the world.. heaven is just putting us on a test..we can go thru all the obstacles. I was watching this nice hong kong series last night, there was tis scene that the maid was being bullied, this nice chief maid was trying to cheer her and sharing her experience with the younger maid, she said " No matter how hard life is, always tell yourself you can make it, no matter how upset you are, tell yourself u can forget it"! I did and I told myself this will keep me on going. Yet an hour later, my hubby called.. telling me his Handphone was stolen! Gosh, stolen. He said he went to Tampines to collect money from someone, but forgotten to lock his car, when he came down after 15 minute, he saw his rear door was open.. immediately he went to his van and realised that his HP, ear piece and charger was stolen, but his cash card and those expensive drills in the back was still around! Obviously the thief was after the hp.. oh please.. it's not new, but it sure mean alot to us. Reason being, we do not want to spend to get a new one since the old one can be use. But now, look like I have no choice.. It's not really about the money, but i'm just upset why did all the bad things happen to us, when will all these be over. Guess it's just too much. I know he is upset, he share the same thought as me, but i really hope he can stand on his feet again.

Tomorrow Will Be Better

Clowns around me

In fact there are 2 good things about working in this coy. Ist was of course the yearly bonus lah.. then there are also lots of nice ppl around. Be it chinese, malay, masaleh or my indian Love.. there are funs at times. Guess the longer i work here, the more tempermental i'll be. I can laugh out loud at this very minute, while roar like a tigress the next moment. But well, i shld say ppl around me knows how to make me laugh.. Not only me who is gila gila.. the guys around me can be at times. I shld say, this place is very "drama".. lots of actors in it. I'm one of the actress too.. got to play along... We have actor from Bollywood, from suria from Channel 8, as well as hollywood.. Powerful rite... I may not get the best lead actress, but certainly the best supporting actress! It's pretty politic, which i guess, any other coy in s'pore is as bad. Like wat i told adik.. it's a precious lesson.. to be the lead actress, it;s not easy, so play along!