Who Cares!, Who cares...

I hates it.. really hates that kind of feeling.. Arrrr.. I'm happy tat Jen share wif me her "little secret", but.. Yucks.. each time after the conversation wif her, Oh Gosh.. I felt so empty! It's brings back all the memories of him, like a tsunami.. 100fts of waves, hit me real hard.. I'm drowning....

If i'm not married now, and i met him and got the chance to talk to him, I DON"T CARE even if he is not gonna divorce and be wif me... I DON"T WANT the status of Mrs Ng, It's ok wif me.. Who cares if I'll go to hell when i died.. I jus wanna be with him. So what if I'm a third party, I REALLY LOVE HIM VERY MUCH !

That's wat i told Jen 15min ago.. Of course, i'm married now, so all i asked was to see him from far, i don't even wanna talk to him, don't even want him to see me, I can't guarantee what will happen if both of us start to talk. I'm married, so I won't let anything/anyone ruin my marriage. That statement was truly from the bottom of my heart.

Frankly speaking, I really envy Jen, at least she can have a picture of the guy who she loved but passed away. She can even have lunch wif the guy who she is secretly in love for 4yrs during school days, she can even sensed that there's a sense of regret from his face, he admitted that he too likes her, but... timing was juz not rite. Juz when he decided to declare his love, she had got someone and was married within a very short period.. Aiyo... Arrrrr...... She rite, she know it will sure affect me, but she juz need to tell someone, and she can only tell me.. cos i'm so-call the ONLY one who knows tat kind of feel...

I'm Worried that i will soon forget his look.. really...