I still can't face him..

Last sunday i went over to katong, contribute my bit and do what i'm suppose to do. In fact i think we are even earlier than people who are supposed to be there, aka committee member. The moment when we reached, while waiting for the parking lot, i saw that man get down from the cab.. again, so chun.. always like that.. last week too, out of the blue i wanna dropby, moment when i get down the car, he too.. sigh.. suay...

Anyway, he greeted me before i even say "hi" to him.. i wished i can be "natural" a bit, but i just can't, in fact i wanna "siam" very much which i doubt so, how big is that place, sure get to see him. Anyway, he waited until i finish my stuff, chit chatting with some new aquaintance then he walk to me, ask if i'm free for a drink. How to turn down when i'm not doing anything, just sitting down, shaking legs. So i excuse myself from the group, & walks toward him, sekali the aquaintance said " your lao gong ask you to go back is it" sigh... NO! He is not my lao gong.

Of course i know what he wanna say.. forget about the past, erase off those thing you are not shiok about, tell me what's bothering you or upsets you? why aren't you coming back to us, you can be honest to me, tell me what's wrong and blah blah blah.. I just know, I just knew he gonna say all these! What surprised me was he said " I read your blog everyday, it's good and i can see all your effort, guess there's some misunderstanding somewhere"

Where got so much misunderstanding my dear Mr Chan. I felt peaceful and happier not mixing too much with hyprocrites, I just wanna be alone, i just wanna get out of all these mess. Don't bother to tell me about the great plans you all have, I'm really not interested. I'm happy as it is now and say no more. Most importantly, we better cut our conversation, so many pairs of eyes spying on me, I hate that kind of feeling. I think they find me a threat, i dunno why, don't ask me. Don't you think it's great, I'm happier when i'm out of all these shit, and they are happier when they don't see me, isn't it wonderful for all of us. ( i wonder why ppl can be so faked, when you are somebody, everyone trys to bodeh you, but when you are out of the pic, no one bothers to even say hi! but who cares.. I don't even look at them! U wanna be ya! I'm even more yaya)

Appreciates everything and nice word you have done/say to me.