What a November

Went thru ups an downs the whole week (though the week had not ended yet). Lots of memories just came up and can't stop crying.. When was the last time I behaved like a cry baby? Quite awhile I guess. Those who know me will know what and why I was triggered to behave this way.

Anyway, I thought after the funeral of yesterday, it's a closure and we should get back to our normal pace. Yet this morning when I call my best friend, Jen(whatever I'm unhappy about her is another issue, don't deny the fact she's one of my best friend) to find out about her dad chemo session, and after a short conversation feel something is bothering her, cos she don't sound her usual tone. She said " I wanted to end my life, I wanted to die erica! *BOMB* Scary isn't it? Your best friend just told you right on your face, she wanted to COMMIT SUICIDE! Someone who have everything, just came back from a shopping spree at BBK told you she wanna die? WHY??? She told me she have this thought lately, it's frightening her so she went to the doctor and confirmed she suffering from depression. What causes that, she felt she is taking in too much of everything, she couldn't let go of her mum's death, she stressed over her dad condition, her son, her hubby and everything! I told her, she have too much time till she have all these silly thought. She lost interest in everything ( weird cos she DID NOT shop at all in BBK) It's a sign… She needs someone to talk to, but she dare not call me cos she don't wanna trigger all my sad memories which I had put down. I once suffered from depression too.. but I managed to get over it, with medication and will power I guess. I told her, it's heart breaking to see loved ones died, I do not want people who love me to be sad, that's why I cannot die! Life is fragil and to me it's not that interesting at all, but God gives us lives, when it's time to take back from us, HE will do so.

At times we just have to let go… there are too many unhappiness in this world, but what can we do? That's part of life.. Dying might have end our misery, but it will contirbute problems and sadness to those who love us.. so why be selfish? Tomorrow will be better, if I can walk out of it, I'm sure she will be able to do so. . What a Novemeber……….

p.s Money won't stop you from dying… Friends who care do…